Dating Dilema

Last week I was out in one of the city’s coffee houses with the company of some ladies and my pal and as we enjoyed the bottomless coffees (actually they refill your cup only once, I wonder then why they call it bottomless) the conversation inevitably switched to the boy/girl issues aka relationships. Well one of the mamas had beef with the issue of jamaas who can’t or won’t pay the bill when they take you out. I am sure every one has horror stories of dates that went wrong i.e. ending up in the wrong type of restaurant, peeling potatoes, trying to eat spaghetti elegantly, your date, your date ordering the most expensive item on the menu or the worst one for ladies getting to the restaurant and discovering that the table cloths are made of the the same material as your dress! LOL!!
Anyway the story was that there was this jamaa – a client, who had been pestering this mama for several months that he would like to meet her for coffee one day after work. So mainly out of the need to just get it over with the mama agrees to meet him for coffee, the jamaa asks her to meet him outside 2oth Century (first wrong move) the mama trys to convince him that it is better for them to meat at a restaurant somewhere rather than outside a cinema hall which si soo teenagerish but the jamaa inisted so outside twentieth it was.
Once she gets there she meets the jamaa waiting (ok) but once she asks where are we going he says “I don’t know, where do you want to go?” (Second wrong move). The mama wonders to hereself where kwani he did not know where he wanted to go and starts thinking whats nearby Trattoria? Winebar? Java? but since she just wants to get it over with she says we just catch a cup of coffee at Lavazza’s so off they go.
Once they settle in the coffeshop and order the guy in trying to make conversation asks her 6 times – yes six – “How is life?” (Third wrong move) and she seriously thinks this must be a trick question and asks him as much. Clearly this date is not headed in the right direction and the mama is wondering when it is ever going to end but the worst is not yet to come.
As the coffee arrives the jamaa tells her “By the way, Hii Kahawa ni wewe unalipa?”.
“What” She asks, clearly thinking she didn’t hear him right
“You are the one paying for this coffee” he repeats.
That was the end of the conversation and the date as far as she was concerned, First she had to be coerced into coming, second he didn’t know where to take her, third he didn’t have any vybe to tell her and now it turns out she was the one to pay for this disaster of a date. What if she had said we go to Trattoria and ordered a Pizza and cappuccino she wondered. Fortunately she had 5oo on her and she could cover the bill and tempted as she was to pay for her cup only and walk out she perservered. Thats not the end of it, as they were finishing up he asked her.
“By the way there is one more thing I want to ask your”
“What? Fare?” She retorted, quite pissed off by now
“No, Its just that I have been watching you and I think you would make a good mother for my children!” he quipped.
I don’t need to tell you that was the end of the date and the story. If it wasn’t a true story I would have laughed it off as a episode of Redykulass or something like that.
Now the questions are

  • Would you ask someone out on a date expecting the other pary to date?
  • In this day and age should the guy always pay?

The first one for me is a no brainer I mean if you are interested in someone you should jipanga and you should be able to first gauge there expectations. I can’t make excuses for this jamaa on ths front especially since he had been pestering her earlier.

As for the second one I think it is still expected that the man pays for the first dates but as they become a couple the mama can be expected to chip into the bill and once in a while actually take the guy out. Some of my most memorable dates is when I have been asked out by – Her treat. It is always amusing when the waiter brings the bill over to you and you tell him hapana Madam ndiye analipa.

So what do you think and have any of you been on such dates?

By the way can you guess who ended up paying for those bottomless coffee’s we were having?

Disclaimer: I am absolutely NOT the jamaa in question here!

Now onto other matters, There has been misunderstanding created by a comment that was left in my previous post about an alleged wedding. Due to some weird behaviour by Blogger I am unable to leave a comment on my own blog. Aaaargh. So now I want to state without fear of contradiction that : I AM STILL AVAILABLE now that said hiyo story iishe.


21 Responses

  1. Fao?? wacha ma disclaimer!!! kama ni wewe wewe tu! Ati rumours – leta invite! LOOOOOOOl

  2. Wacha nikasome nikifikeko nyumpani…. seco, au?

  3. Eh, kweli, that sounds like a scene out of some comedy sketch. Are you sure it really happened?

    As for that rumour thing, let me go back and read. I have been on blog-slowdown for a while now, so I need to catch up.

  4. @inexess- kwani today you didn’t work?every blog I have fikad, you are first.huna kazi?

    what were you questions again?

    I say, by the time you do the asking out- you better have the cash. kwani how do you ask someone out and they end paying.By how, I mean how is that sentence phrased? “can I take you out to….?”that already says you are paying, ” can we have dinner…” then here there is a chance you are going dutch!. sii if you want the other person to pay, you say “hey you, take me out to……..?”

    Should guys always pay……NO. If I go out with a guy for the first time, I do not care if he landed his helicopter o my roof- i am paying for myself first time. When we can say we are friends- then I may let you pay, before that hamna mambo kama hayu…….I have been known to ask for the bill while dude went to the toilet. Yes, I paid for both.

    When you become my husband- guess who pays……….hala sii then it doesn’t matter- what is yours is mine ama?

  5. Damn, I thought i was third.

  6. ROFL!!

    Where did this jamaa come from?

    Yeah those “Mamas” can easily pay their own coffee, but then: we’re too much gentlemen to even think about this issue. The ladies I’ve dated though always or often payed their own coffee, but this wasnt because they wanted to only date me once.

    (i think .-)

  7. That man should be lynched!! ish!

    I dunno if there are financial rules to that whole dating issue lol for me it is simple and clear..i ask you-i pay, wewe if ure asking si you do like that then hehe..lakini i see no big deal in who’s paying what..we share the bill if it’s pitad budget..ama tuchange kama the cash isn’t enuff for the plot we want.

    Alafu me i feel nothing if we’re paying for our own i ate it..kwani?

    But wait..the way am always up and about wanting to go here and there, i’ll prolly be asking alot but haiya you can be a nice dude and just lipa nusu nusu lool..yaa si am giving plots aii.

    KIRISH..disclaimer has been ‘flashed down the toilet ‘lol i still can’t believce you are..!! *holding tummy in despair*

  8. I have been watching you and I think you would make a good mother for my children!” he quipped.
    Clearly this guy just has issues. If i ask you out i will pay. No guys shouldn’t always pay not in this day and age even women have money.

    Lastly,i have now officially heard the disclaimer and withdraw the request for the invitation.

  9. now those are peeps i would love to kick there arse way up there

  10. Why is it that lately more and more men seem to be making decisions about prospective wives and mothers of their shudren without the women being in the know. Ok, that one up there was a bit drastic..LOL…Haki I would pay for my share and leave you there washing dishes/peeling potatoes.

    As for the disclaimer…tihiiihiii

    I think, n this is just me that for a first date, esp if it’s the dude who’s asked me out, he DEF should offer to pay the bill, even if we’ll end up going dutch. After that even if we’re just pals I’ll always offer to pay on the next date even before you ask or imply. Then again, most times when I do that I’m shot dirty ‘keep-your-little-money’ looks..hehe…But I still will. Kwanza there’s nothing I hate like someone I’ve never met saying ‘si we hook up you buy me a drink?’Totally classless, I swurr. Kwanza I’m so afraid of embarrasment I carry not less than a G when meeting someone 🙂

  11. …..y the way can you guess who ended up paying for those bottomless coffee’s we were having..


  12. ati you’re still available! Lol yaani I’m smiling like a fool!
    where can I apply?

    Ok back to your story that dude iza a fool!

    I think its nice when women pay at times. ubaya is when you pay all the time. But I have no shida with paying so long as I have chums.

  13. I AM ALSO AVAILABLE, LOL….onto to your questions:

    1. I think before you go out on a date and especially with a worker mate, you should at least jua there is kidogo vibe between you guys. No one wants to sit through coffee or dinner staring at the wall. The jamaa in the story must have been trying to just annoy the chile.

    2. Easy. I pay – for the first few dates alafu as you say if we are an item then she should start chipping in. but if I can afford to I would prefer to always pay.

  14. Hmmmm.. Twins yeah?? Anyway reaaally nice place.

    Where do I apply? But on second thought, I hope the disclaimer is true.

    And I think a guy should do the bill on first dates, then I can chip in. No loss on mi side. LOL

  15. will all the available bloggers please stand up!

  16. aki that dude is bila clue kabisa…i hope he doesnt go wondering why the heck he is still single. i am yet to meet a woman who finds such behaviour attractive!
    The only time i pay while on a date is when i have invited you – you invite me, you pay. Dont invite me if you are not going to pay.
    So you are single still eh? what about MY bottomless coffee? si you will pay? LOLL

  17. **Standing up….. yes farmgal am available!

    but my alter ego isnt though….SAD (for him)

  18. @Inexes, Wacha story mingi bro.
    @N, Kwani uko wapi?
    @EGM, Vituko for real, good to see you back lakini.
    @3TC, Now thats my type of girl, When can you take me out?
    @Bomseh, very far from third pole.
    @JKE, I know where the jamaa came from but if I said I will embarass all his tribesmates which I don’t want to do. LOL I think not.
    @Betty, He was lynched in that chicks life for good, LOL yaani giving plots is a big investment as well.
    @Gish, I agree with you its time even us guys were asked out more often.
    @KIPUSA, So do I he is giving us men a bad name.
    @Jade, Luckily for him he reserved that question till the end. Yeah carrying insurance is essential at all times.
    @Eddie, Actually it goes without question.
    @Farmgal, Actually it also bores as men when we pay all the time it is good at times to be pampered.
    @3N, Lack of vibe is seriously bad
    @Shee, Welcome Sista!, Hahaha it definately wasn’t me. Its generally accepte that the dude pays first time but if you want to show interest you know what to do.
    @Chatterly, The consensus seems to be you ask out you pay. I’ll Pay 😉
    @Farmgal, You heard her pleas stand up.
    @Inexes, Now which Alter ego tena.

  19. Where was I couz I got ALOT to say about this!
    *looking around for bomseh*
    is the dude a Luhya? Foko Jembe

    which available are you
    1. really really available?
    2.married but available (my speciality)?
    3. Seeing someone but available couz am not sure she is the one?

  20. Jipange wasee!
    any time you go out make sure you have enought o cover for the both of you, though once I was lucky the chick paid herself on a first date, what a relief.

  21. EEEHHH….first, welcome to WP. I can see even you have joined the bandwagon.

    How did you discover this page, I haven’t finished setting it up 🙂

    As for the disclaimer, mbona haukuiweka first….LOL!

    You don’t Believe me? tsk tsk

    Yaani, if it was me, I would have paid for the coffee, asked for a takeaway cup and gone home. Or just paid for mine and tell the waiter that we wanted separate bills anyway.

    I believe in old-fashioned dating and a jamaa should pay for the first dates and then when you are a couple, like you said, the chic chips in. No….a guy should not always pay, esp. in this day and age. Kwani the mamis nowadays work for what?

    Ati you are available… I shortlist you ama? 😉

    LOL Quickly you know how good men are in demand

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